I updated my “About Me” page today.
You see, in there I had previously referenced that I was still informally involved in the diaconal discernment process in my diocese of the Episcopal church.
As of Thursday, the letter to the bishop went in the mail. I’m closing that chapter.
I feel pretty good about it. Most people probably assumed I’d exited a long time ago, informal and off the radar as my explorations and Process was. I don’t even get questions in my parish anymore. Haven’t in a long time.
Close friends and spiritual confidantes I have been blessed with along the way have heard my wonders and struggles over these years. Good, spiritually healthy struggles, please don’t misunderstand me. Inwardly, it still occupied a great deal of my mental energies, despite my outward public appearances to most.
Until recently. Then I was reminded that I really should be writing some sort of update on my discernment, or quite possibly finally saying goodbye.
Along with good bye to discernment is good bye to coordinating my small parish’s Sunday school. I have decided that I simply need a break. The timing of the break may prove to be an unexpected blessing if it opens the door to an infusing of new ideas and energy in new leadership, or it may be terribly unfortunate, as we’ve been without a rector the past year, and are now on the brink of getting one. No matter. I had to listen to my heart on this one. And I really and truly feel that God has laid his blessing on this…taking a break, and taking some time for renewal.
Heavenly Father. In times of seeming silence and aloneness we need to call on faith that you remain near. I trust and believe that you remain near, and are working in me to accomplish new growth, which I trust and believe will bear good fruit in due time. Keep me receptive with wide open arms to what blessings and missions lie ahead…after I take a brief rest that is! Amen.